Postpartum Depression

Postpartum Depression occurs commonly, but is so rarely talked about. Join me this week as we discuss what it is, Camille's own story, and how we can take better care of our mental health.

Anchor Verse: Psalm 34:18, Matthew 11:28

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Transcript

Camille Allison (host): 0:09

Hello friends and welcome into this week's episode of Her Soul. I am your host Camille Allison and welcome back y'all. So this week we are sort of diving into, um, some mental health topics to put it plainly. It's mental health awareness month, the month of May. And before this month leaves, I do want to give some recognition to some very common mental health disorders. And so this week, I don't know why, but it's something crazy is going on. And I am giving you guys. Five episodes this week. One episode every single day. We will do like our sort of normal episodes with our Bible study sort of ways, but we'll also have some episodes targeted directly at mental health. And this week, we are doing um, postpartum depression. Yeah, we're gonna talk about it and I think that this episode is gonna be very important I think it's gonna touch a lot of you probably the past three four years even I have Felt led to sort of talk about postpartum depression Publicly and I just never have I've just been so Afraid of talking about it and now here we are I finally feel like I've gotten up enough courage if not Just acting in complete obedience to what God is telling me to do But yeah, we're gonna talk about postpartum depression. I do want to just preface this episode and say that this episode might be triggering for some of you. Again, um, postpartum depression is a wide topic, like, it affects a lot of people, a lot of people don't talk about it, it exists on a spectrum, so there are very mild cases to the most extreme. So, This episode could be triggering for some of you. I want to say that. So if you Know about yourself that you might be triggered by the topic of depression um Any sort of self harm topics anything like that? There's not going to be too much talk about self harm, but it could be mentioned and so I just want to put that out there Okay Okay Let's get into this goodness

2:20

Now, before we dig into what postpartum depression actually is, I do want to say that this is just a topic that isn't really talked about so, so much, especially in the black community. Uh, and I really don't know why it's such a taboo topic, but I think it's just that thing we don't talk about, especially as black moms. And I think it might have something to do with the fact that, you know, historically black women. are not allowed to be down in any sort of way. We are not allowed to be, you know, people who need rest. We're not allowed to take breaks. We're not allowed to be tired. We really just are not allowed to need help or to be weak in any sort of way. That's essentially what I'm trying to get at. And so I think That's a lot of what has happened too. I think all of these sort of stigmas and stereotypes that have been placed on us We've just internalized them and it's so hard for us to reach out for help. It really is It's hard for ourselves to take care of ourselves physically And so can you just really kind of go there with me and imagine how hard it is for us to take care of ourselves Mentally, so that's what we're going to dissect I mean, um, yeah, that's what we're going to dissect. I will share a little bit about some of the things that I've experienced in my battle with postpartum depression. And then really y'all honestly and truly, honestly, I just want to create awareness around this topic as a black woman. You know, this is my experience. This is what I did. It's not out of reach you as the next woman or the next black woman can do the exact same thing and get the help and so I really want to ultimately just reduce the stigma centered around being a black woman with a mental health condition, being a black woman with postpartum depression, being a black woman that needs help.

Camille Allison (host): 4:29

This episode is for my moms of all colors, but I'm really speaking to the heart of my black moms. Hear me. As we go through this episode, and I hope that you can see yourself in my shoes and know that. It's okay. Everything is okay. this episode is also for my people who are, I don't know. Closely knit to a mom and you can sort of pick up that things just aren't right. So maybe you're a friend, a sister. Uh, family member. Um, whoever you are, but this will also, this episode will also address some of the things to be mindful of and the role that you can play in helping out, someone who is dealing with postpartum. Depression. So let's get into it. Right. What is postpartum depression? Well, It's basically. Very similar to depression. But it's suffered by mom's following or during, um, either during your pregnancy and following your childbirth. Typically, this starts. Based on a combination of your hormones are changing. They're all out of whack. there's a new, psychological adjustment that comes with being a mom. And adjusting to motherhood and then really fatigue and not being well rested. Especially with a newborn baby. Especially if you have other kids or other littles like I do. So these are all factors that sort of play into a postpartum depression. Statistically speaking one in seven women, deal with PPD. Crazy because it is a fairly common. Thing that women deal with, but it's not talked about so much. And especially my black girls, we are not seeking the help as much. So women usually start to notice symptoms about six weeks after giving birth, but African-Americans and Hispanic moms. Have reported that they've noticed signs at two weeks. Two weeks after giving birth. Uh, some of our most high risk groups are mothers who deliver premature infants. Women living in urban areas and then young moms or adolescent moms. Women who have a history of depression or anxiety. PMS or sexual abuse. Women who have low hemoglobin levels. Women who were required to have an emergency C-section. Or women who were hospitalized during their pregnancy are also at high risk. And then, especially this is a big one, especially in my case, women who lack social support. Uh, and women who suffer from domestic violence, domestic violence and abuse. So some of the signs and symptoms. Of postpartum depression to be aware of. Both as a mom who might be experiencing it. And also as an outsider who might notice these things in a loved one, right? If you are familiar with depression, major depressive disorder. A lot of these symptoms, are very much still the same, but it's, um, the difference is that postpartum depression obviously is occurring around a pregnancy. And childbirth. So you might see a depressed mood, a loss of interest most of the day. Insomnia where they can't sleep or hypersomnia where they're sleeping too much. You might notice agitation. And then I thought this was interesting. Psychomotor retardation is also another classified symptom. And this is basically where you're, where you're having slow thinking. Slow movement sort of like in a daze, Um, There's also. This, um, feeling of worthlessness and guilt that comes along with postpartum depression. You know, I think about this sometimes when I'm on social media and I'll see the hashtag mom guilt, or I'll see somebody talking about that. But that's essentially what that is that plays into that as well. So worthlessness the sense of guilt. Lots of energy and fatigue. Uh, suicidal ideation or attempt. Impaired concentration. Change in weight or in appetite. Postpartum depression is typically treated. Uh, with the use of the first line of treatment, first of all, is you need to seek a medical professional. You need to go to counseling, see a therapist. And if that professional thinks that your postpartum depression will benefit from the use of medication. Typically they'll prescribe an antidepressant to go along with your therapy treatment, but they always start with therapy first. Uh, in my case, that's what we did. I didn't have to get on any pills. Therapy was exactly what, um, sort of like helped out my situation. So to give you guys just a little bit of a background, I wanted to give you basically an overview of what postpartum depression is, and I'm just, that's just scratching the surface. I am a nurse. I'm a registered nurse, but I am not a mental health nurse. Um, I'm also a master of divinity student. And so I do have a little bit of background in understanding human condition. Okay. But, uh, I'm not like a psychologist or therapist or anything like that. So I just wanted to give you guys. A little bit of, um, information and I'll leave where I got my information from this. I didn't just pull this off of Google. This is heavily researched information. And so I'll leave those links down below for you. But I wanted to sort of, I guess just now tell you a little bit about. You know, my dealings with postpartum depression. I am not currently dealing with postpartum depression. I did just have a baby. Um, she will be four months at the end of the month. Lord have mercy. But, um, I have a three-year-old and a five-year-old as well, two boys. And then we just had our little baby girl back in January. And. I did have postpartum depression with my first son. I had it again with my second son. And then. Maybe about four or five months into my pregnancy. With my third baby. I I was thinking about it. And I was like, I really don't want to go down the same road that I went down with my other two kids once I gave birth to her. So I decided to be proactive and I sought out a therapist then. I was blessed to find probably the best therapist I've ever had. Um, And I worked with her and she just kind of like stuck with me and she's still with me, you know, the program that I went through. It, this therapist she's specifically deals with women. Who deal with postpartum depression have a history of it. Women who have just given birth and just need to talk. So it was a specialized clinic and they follow you up until your baby turns one years old, and then they release you to. I'm a therapist that is not special. That is not as specialized as this program. But anyway I was blessed to get into the program. I was blessed to find the therapist that I've found. We connected instantly. She was also another black woman. So I found it easier to relate to her. Some of the cultural things that black women experience she understood without me having to explain. And that was really important to me. Um, so that's what I did to sort of like prepare myself for what might happen after I gave birth. And I. I didn't, I don't have postpartum depression this time around, and I'm so thankful, but my circumstances have changed. A thousand percent since giving birth to my first child. So my first child. I, um, Had him December, 2018. This is my first baby. I was 24 years old. And. I was coming off of. A lot. I was dealing with a lot personally. Um, In my relationship as well. And. I mean, we were sort of like in a phase of rediscovering, who we were both individually and as two people in a relationship, we were traveling a whole bunch. And I mean, not just any sort of traveling, I mean, we were getting up and taking trips at the drop of a dime. I only worked in the hospital three days a week. Uh, his job was very flexible as well. And so we were taking trips like nobody's business, just anytime we had free time, we'd look up a flight and just go. And we were having like the time of our lives. We found out that we were pregnant. We were not sad. We were so happy and, you know, excited to become parents. Um, And yeah, our families were happy. Everything was good. Pregnancy was great. My pregnancy was so smooth. I actually remember after I gave birth, I was like sad that I wasn't pregnant anymore. Um, but yeah, all of that was smooth. So. Postpartum depression, depression did not hit me in the midst of pregnancy. I didn't have a bad pregnancy experience. It didn't hit me until. After I gave birth. And. It was like reality sort of like. Hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't move. Like I wanted to move anymore. I had extreme anxiety around being a mom, taking care of a baby. I don't, I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to do anything that was going to sort of like, quote unquote, mess him up. Um, I was so nervous about that. And in me being so anxious about that. Same, this, this was the same thing that happened with my second son as well. So in the midst of me being anxious about that, I was like, so. Um, Determined, I guess, to get it right. That I've never wanted them out of my sight. There was a mental block that I had that said. If I let anybody else watch my children for me, even for 30 minutes, even for an hour. That I'm going to be doing them a disservice. I felt so guilty anytime that I had to ask anybody for help, because I felt like it was saying that, you know, I couldn't do it. And that that's really what it was. So in the first few years of being a mom, I, I didn't lean on anybody for help. Actually, let me not say the first few years. I would say maybe the first year. Because there came a point where I started to get so closed in. So boxed in, I mean, I wasn't taking. Um, we were not going on dates, my fiance. We were not going on dates. Uh, we basically didn't really have time for each other. And I'm just be real about that. Um, in my mind, it was just the kids. The kids needed me and I have to be there for them. And that's all that I could see. So I lost sight of that. I also saw lost sight of like friendships. I was like, I don't have time to go out and hang out with y'all because I have kids, you know, I have to do this same with my sisters. And, um, I really got wrapped up in my mind. It's just about the kids. It's just about the kids. It's just about the kids. And there came a point, I would say maybe. Um, I'm not exactly sure when, but there came a point where it was like, I felt so boxed in. It's like I finally woke up and. I had no idea that. Life was really kind of like existing around me. And I had been closed in for so long. I didn't know how to sort of like get out. I hope this is making sense because I don't have notes. I'm just basically going off of. You know, my experience and what I remember in this moment. Um, And I remember like my fiance's mom, she would offer me help. I would always turn her down because again, I just had this. Then it was always put in me that, you know, these are your kids. They need to be with you. Kids want their moms. And so anytime that it would come up to anybody who would want to watch them, I just immediately shut it down because. I knew in my heart of hearts, that that's just not the way that it was supposed to be, but I was so sadly. Um, Like misled in that area. And it wasn't until I got into therapy this time around that, I realized that I was misled, that I realized a lot of what I thought was right. Was actually wrong. A lot of what I perceived to be. The way to go about things with. It was actually the most unhealthy thing I could've done for myself mentally. Anyway. Um, I wasn't sleeping very well because I would, I'm always the one waking up with the kids all throughout the night. And then during the daytime, at that time I was going to work. Or if I was on night shift, it was vice versa. There. There's so many factors that played into this. My fiance schedule, even though it was flexible, the hours that he works. are long. And so as a nurse, the hours that I work are also long. And so there was a lot of job hopping, trying to find a good job. So there was stress of adjusting to. New work environments constantly. Um, While also trying to find a good daycare for the kids. While also trying to, um, like maintain energy for them. Once getting off of these shifts and it was a lot, I wasn't accepting the help when I could get it. And it was almost like I'm mentally crashed out. Mentally crashed out. I think. It's hard to describe what it's like, but it is basically like you were just going about. Life without actually doing life. It's kind of like, you're just doing the things to get by. And that's just my experience because I have read of other cases where women aren't able to do anything. And if you remember in the, um, when I was giving you guys the. Overview. Of what postpartum depression is. Um, I talked about lack of social support, being a huge risk factor. And in my case, That was one of the things that I dealt with. But it's so crazy because I dealt with it when I didn't really have to. I was offered support. I mean, like, seriously, I think about this now because my fiance's mom. She was like a blessing in disguise when I didn't have anywhere to return anywhere to turn. She was always there, like offering a helping hand. And I couldn't see it. I couldn't accept it. It was like, I was sort of like, um, I don't want to say brainwashed, but I just had the wrong idea of what it was to be a mom. Um, That whole, it takes a village is very true, but I couldn't see that at that point. Not with my first son or my second son. Well, actually I lie because in. My second son, I was a little bit more I was a little bit more open to receiving help. And now with not to have this, my daughter, I don't turn down any help that I get. I'm just being honest.'cause you can't do it alone. And again, I talked about. For some reason black women are just made out to be these superheroes. And we really are. We really are, but I think people. Uh, other cultures or other communities might see us in. It's hard for us to be down and out and to stay down and out because there's so many people, depending on us, black women carry the black community in a lot of different ways. You know, so. With that I was. I will say this because I got convicted of this in church. I was a very prideful mom. Um, I don't need help. I can do it on my own. I've done it on my own this far. Nobody's lending a helping hand this far. So I'm going to do it. You know what I'm saying? That that was always my mindset. It was very wrong now. And in hindsight, and hindsight is 2020. The way I thought about things was completely off kilter. But that's just like a little bit of what I dealt with. But what I will say this time around having my baby, knowing that I've had postpartum them both with my previous two kids. I didn't want to go through that again. I wanted to be. So, you know, ahead of this thing, that it, wasn't going to take me down like it did before. And seeking the help proactively. That was probably the biggest win I've could have done or could have implemented. I considered opening this up. To be, um, a little bit of a conversation and I do want it to be a conversation. I want it to be. Sort of like a place where you guys will feel comfortable sharing your stories. A lot of women are not comfortable sharing their stories because they think it makes them look weak. Or inadequate as a mom. And I thought that same thing too, but it doesn't. It really does not. If anything, it just shows your humanist. And your vulnerability as a human. Right. I thought that I could do everything. And I would pray to God in my hardest times, I would pray to God and be like, God, please, I need help. I mean on the floor. Crying. My eyes almost can't breathe. Begging God. To come and help me. And, you know, what, as I reflect, he sent me help, help that I never accepted. He sent me help and I didn't accept it. So I want you guys to know. That it's okay to not be okay. And it's okay to ask for help. A lot of the reason why I think we don't ask for help as well is because we are afraid of the judgment. Right. And I really want to break that stigma. Forget the judgment. Postpartum depression is a very common disorder. But it's a very shameful thing for many of us to admit. And I'm not just going to say black women. I mean, women in general. But I want you to know that there is no shame. And that help is available. Sometimes. I think too, the problem is we just don't know how to get the help. So I'm going to tell you guys exactly what I did, because even prior to just talking about postpartum depression, but in me dealing with anxiety, because I am diagnosed with that as well. One of the things that is the hardest thing is to figure out how to get a therapist. Does it run through my health insurance? Um, like, am I supposed to go to my primary care doctor and ask for that? Is this some, there's a lot of questions around how do I get a therapist? Um, And what I will say is that there are multiple ways that you can do it. You can ask for a referral from your primary care physician. Um, That's an easy way to do it. You can seek out. Uh, counseling services outside of that. So you don't necessarily have to have a referral from your, um, main doctor, your general practitioner. But let me tell you guys what I did. So. I went to my OB. I was already seeing her, um, to monitor for the baby. And I had mentioned to her that listen, I dealt with this and undiagnosed by the way, because I never sought help. Four. Uh, postpartum depression and my first and second pregnancy, I was never officially diagnosed with that. But I knew that's what I had. I didn't seek help because I didn't know how to, I didn't think I had the time. And I sorta just kind of like was in a pray, pray it away sort of a phase. Um, but this time around, I opened up to her and told her, listen, I had postpartum depression. And with my first two pregnancies, I really don't want to go through that again. Like what do you think? Is there anything that I can do. And she recommended to me this program so my OB is affiliated with a larger hospital. They have a program where. Um, they sort of incorporated the psychology and therapy. Um, specialties where there's a dedicated program for women who are pregnant. They can participate in this program up until the child is born up until a year. The child turns one. Okay following me. I hope it's making sense. So you get into this program, you are set up with a psychiatrist and a therapist who are especially. Uh, dealing with women. And pregnancy and child and after childbirth, So that's all that they see postpartum depression is sort of like a specialty. That they have, and they, there there's, there is therapist. If you've gone through therapy before, you know what it's like, they get to know you. They point out areas or help you figure out areas in your life that sort of need. Um, a little tender, love and care. And you go on from there. So that's the program that I got into. I was so blessed because my psychiatrist and my therapist were black women. And from the first appointment, It was like a weight was off of my shoulder. I broke down in tears because it was like, I finally had somebody to talk to who. wouldn't judge me who understood. My cultural implications and all of that. And I just felt like I was able to really unleash in a way that I haven't been able to. So that's what I did. So. Ask your OB, if they have a program like that. Um, Or if there's anything like that in your area? But the first step to getting help in this situation is number one, realizing that there is nothing wrong with the fact that. You might have postpartum depression. Sometimes it's out of your control. There's a hormonal imbalance that exists. With carrying a baby and delivering a baby and then being a new mom. And so until our hormones can kind of regulate and figure things out, there are some psychological imbalances, so there's nothing wrong with having it, but you have to first recognize that you do have it and that you might need some help. And I think this is a big one to moms moms, and especially to my black moms. You have to prioritize your mental health. To be any good for anyone? We want to take on the weight of the world. We want to be able to be there for everyone. So I'll use myself. I am a fiance. I manage a home. I've got three children. All under five and under. Okay. I have. Um, Five siblings. To like my parents. It's a lot. A lot of people are counting on me for a lot of different things. I'm not working right now, but prior to I was a home health nurse. Working five days a week with a whole caseload of patients and everybody needed me for something. This is while I was pregnant and having all of these responsibilities on my plate. How could I have been any good to anybody? If I didn't first take time to fill up my cup. Prioritizing your mental health for me. Was not only seeking out therapy. But it was also taking care of my physical health. So taking my vitamins, drinking my water, eating good things. It wasn't just that it was also my spiritual health. Being in tune with God being in my Word. Praying constantly. So it's a multilayered. Thing, but you have to prioritize your health in order to be good for anybody. So let's take a, let's switch it up just a tiny bit. Um, and I know this episode is a little bit longer than most, but there. It a little bit more to dissect here. So let's, let's look at it like this. If you are outside looking in and you know, somebody who sort of like exhibit some of these signs or they've opened up to you and said like, I need help. Maybe they're dealing with postpartum depression. Here's some things. Um, that you can do. As the outsider looking in. Number one recognize that your role in this person's life is crucial. I would say that my postpartum depression was like a, a mild to moderate experience, but there are severe. Circumstances where women completely disconnect from their children. And so not only are they. Sort of messed up or, you know, disconnected. Their children are also not being taken care of properly. Um, there are cases where you've heard in the news, most extreme cases where women have hurt their children, you know, This is, it's not a cut dry, everyone is going to experience the same things. So keep your eyes open because your role as the outsider looking in is very important. I mean, It means the world to know that you have one person out there. That can hug you when you need it that can cook for you. When you cook for your family when you need it. That can pick your kids up from school when you need it. I'm serious. It means the world. So recognize that your role is crucial. Um, just having somebody there to help them when they feel like they just can't do even the basic things. You play a major room. And there's really nothing that you can do outside of just being there. Your role is to just listen. When they need you to listen. Offer help if you can. And just, just to just have patience with that person. Understanding that this is not them at their best self. Understanding that this is not them at their best self and that you could potentially help them tap back into. Who they are at the core. To my mom's to my moms with postpartum depression. Get a therapist start journaling. Sit down and pray. And I mean, not. Once a week or once a month, or whenever you can think of it. Like whenever it pops back into your head, but I mean, constantly prayed throughout the day, especially when you feel yourself starting to get trapped down into this bubble. Ward it off with some prayer, just incorporate prayer heavily into your life. If you haven't already. And then the only other thing that I can say is that you have to actively fight it. If you know, you have it, don't just let it consume. You figure out what it is that you need to do to get yourself better. And you can do this in partnership with your therapist, because certainly they can help you. Um, Actively fight down all of those bad thoughts. Those. Negative thoughts, those thoughts that get you hooked up because you feel like you are neglecting your primary responsibility of being a mom. That mom guilt we talked about is a big one, you know? Shut it down before it has time to consume you. Get the help. Be encouraged, have hope and faith, even if it's just a little bit of hope that you can get better. Hold on to that because ultimately that's, what's going to be able to carry you through. I can't even pinpoint to you how long my postpartum depression lasted. I don't know when I got out of it, but at some point it was like the fall cleared and I was like, okay, here we are. Here. We are. Finally. Um, So, yeah, that that's, it. That's all I wanted to do. I just wanted to sort of like bring this topic up. Um, I'm sure it will not be the last time that we talk about it, because like I said, I do want to make this a conversation. I am thinking about having some guests on the show that might share their experiences with postpartum with you guys. Because like I said, it's not a cut and dry. Um, It's not a cut and dry thing. Everybody is not the same in that regard. If you would like to share your postpartum. Uh, depression story with me. And how you're currently fighting it or how you have overcome it. I would love to hear it. Um, there are a few different ways you can do it. I will say the first way is in the show notes, the you'll see a link that says, send me a text message. It's a really cool way. If you just want to like, leave a review of the show or leave a comment on the show. But if you want to use that mode, just click that button. And just send me a message. Leave your email in the message as well, so that I can get back in contact with you because it won't let me text you back. I don't believe, but if you want to use that way, click that link, you can tell me your story and then leave your email. Well, your social media in that, um, In that message and I'll get back in contact with you and we can just talk about it. And go that way. Or if you want to just reach out to me on social media, all that stuff is linked down below as well. There's so many ways you can connect with me and I will get your message. And I will respond. Um, but yeah, I would love to hear. Your stories. If you're willing to share them. And also to recognize that there is power and just talking about your story. Sharing your story with somebody else that. It, not only does it help that other person, but it also helps you. Because for some reason, it's like, Speaking power over a situation that had you. Held captive for so long. You know, Um, so yeah, if this episode has blessed you in any way, you guys please do not forget to. Number one, follow the show and the number to leave a rating or review. On apple podcast, majority of you guys use apple podcasts. So. Lately a five-star rating or leave a comment if you would like to that helps expand our reach and get in front of a broader audience. And then also you guys, I did start a Patreon on. And this Patreon, um, I'll leave it linked below as well in the notes. But this is a member exclusive platform. Um, it's it's has three different tiers, as simple as if you just want to donate to say, Hey, I just love the show and I just wanted to support your show. Monetarily, you can just donate$3 a month. And then from there, the perks, the tiers go up and the perks are obviously more. But if you wanted to check that out, I would be appreciative of that as well. So, um, thank you guys for listening. I am going to leave you. You know, we didn't have like an anchor verse per se, that we were dissecting, but I do want to leave you guys with some scripture. Um, number one, the Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit. So. Mom do not forget. You have a helpmate in the Lord. And this comes from Psalm 34 verse 18. And then I love this verse you guys. This is Matthew 11, verse 28. Come to me all who labor and are heavy Laden. And I will give you. Rest. Do not forget to lean on the Lord. And, um, seek Him in all of this. So thank you guys for listening. I'm so grateful for this community and each of you, I am constantly praying for all of you. And I will see you all in the next episode, bye you guys love you. Be blessed.